Darker Than Dark Chapter 5: Sophie

Jamie's POV

*“Cupcake…” I reach out for her.

“Whoever you are, please go away.”

My heart nearly stopped. “What…?”

“I don’t want you to have anything to do with my daughter, so find another child to play with.”*

Cupcake... You still believe... in the guardians, in spirits. You know there's one right next to you. You know we're good, so why... Why are you treating us like we're evil? Like we're going to hurt her.  She turns to close the door.

"No, wait!" I think fast, I have to get her attention. I look around for something, anything. The door is shutting, she peers out as the crack becomes smaller.

"NO!" I shoot a blast of cold into the house, swinging the door open, almost knocking her off her feet. I gasp, "Cupcake... I didn't mean to..."

She pushes back and slams the door with a panicked expression on her face. This doesn't make any sense... Cupcake was one of the first among us to defend the guardians. Now, she's shutting the door in one of their possible faces. It's almost as if she's scared of us... But that can't be possible. No spirit has ever harmed her, at least, not that I can recall. Even Pitch could never get to cupcake. Not once she realizes the Guardians existed. What happened in the past ten years? What did I miss... with all of you...

I frown, and look around. It's cold, even with Jack's job, I still feel cold. I can still only handle so much cold. I pull my jacket up to my mouth, and flew up to the top floor. This room has to be that little girl's. Anna's. I peer into the glistening window against the reflected snow. Not here yet. I sit on the windowsill, examining the girlish room. Like cupcake in her younger years, this girl seemed to love ballerinas. There's an identical tutu from my memories hanging on the end of the bed. Hm... and pictures. It's Anna's mother! Those looked like posters from New York. Broadway plays, ballets... wow. It looks like cupcake went on to become famous in her dreams. She looks so happy, and in the center of the posters sits a photo her kneeling by Anna. It looks like she was at some kind of recital. But that's weird, it looks like the photo is partially torn. Why tear such a precious picture? I can make out the feet of another person. Black shoes, a man's shoes.

I frown, maybe something happened with that man. I bet he's Anna's father... I sigh. Oh cupcake... what happened to you since I died? You don't seem happy... You seem tired, worried. I press my hand against the window glass, causing a hand print to form from the liquid ice. There has to be something I can do to help.

I stare into the room, losing myself in thought until the face of a twinkling, young girl appears at the door. Trotting in, she grips a towel close to her chest. It looks like she just came out of the shower. Probably warming up from the cold weather. Her blissful face brings a smile to my own. She's precious. Absolutely adorable. I wish I appreciated Sophie when she was that age; she seemed just the same. I only remember being annoyed that I had to help her everywhere.

It's kind of funny, I never thought about it before but... it makes me wish I could've had my own kids. When I was 14, I never really thought about it. Sure, I had a crush on Pippa, but the idea of marriage and children was far from my mind at that time. Now, I've grown. My appearance hasn't changed, but I surely have. I wish I could marry and have a child of my own, to raise a boy, teach him baseball and have snowball fights, or to hold a little girl close and cradle her in my arms. If only... but that can never be now...

The little girl hopped up on the bed and rolled around. Cupcake walked in and moved close to her little girl, wrapped her up, and started drying her off. "Snug as a bug in a rug, she is! Snug as a bug in a rug..." She began to sang as she wipped down the little girl, starting off slow. At the last verses, she sped up. "Snugasabug! Snugasabug! Sungasabuginrug!" She ticked the little girl as she sang the remaining part. The little girl squealed and laughed with amusement. Cupcake smiled a small sad smile. She walked over to the dressor after completing her task and reached in for what looked like a nightgown. Shutting the drawer, she looked up at the window. Her brows knitt. Marching straight over to the hand-printed window, she locked it and yanked the curtains shut. I frown once more. I guess I'm not wanted here... I sigh, and turn to fly off toward the pond at a snail's pace. I wonder how everyone else is doing... maybe I should visit Sophie today.

I decide to visit my mother. Since this is the anniversary of my death, both her an Sophie will be meeting up later today. Changing course, I follow the whitened path before me. My home wasn't too far from here, I'd be there soon... I sigh... I hope mother's recovered at least a little since last year. Sophie has her going to therapy. Her depression over losing me, it got to her badly. I guess it would to any parent losing a firstborn or any child. She barely speaks to anyone, hardly goes out anymore. Even work became too much for her to handle without cracking from the stress. My father left her a year after my death, he couldn't stand her episodes. He threatened to take Sophie with him, claiming it was an unfit environment to raise their remaining child. Sophie defended mom, but eventually was involved in a custody battle. Dad won and took her, leaving mom's depression to only deepen. A few years later, Dad had remarried and had another two children. Sophie ran away from home and came to live with mom. She was old enough to fight the court for her own choice. Mom's life was inspected and deemed safe but not preferable. Sophie decided to live with mom and has taken care of her ever since.

Once she graduated from college and found a suitable job, she started sending mom to therapy with her newly found source of income. Sophie started as a journalist with a hobby of writing children's books. Through them, she spread the wonder and joy the Guardians had shown us all those years before. If she was asked if she believed in such fairy tales, she openly admitted "Yes, I do and I always will." In her time, she had become a popular book author. She wrote and illustrated her own books. I've read some of them as she wrote, they're actually pretty good. And her drawing skills are something to marvel at.

I arrive at the house, spotting mom in the window. She was watching old family films of a Christmas I was alive. I look through the window, placing my hand on it. I sigh. Mom, don't cry... I'm right here. I've always been right here... watching over you. I never quite appreciated you as I should have... You clearly loved me with all your heart... I lean my head against the window, trying to ignore the glare given from the pure surroundings. I love you, mom...

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Jack's POV

*My eyes spy a rounded shaped cloud imitating the shape of Man in Moon… MiM! “IS THIS YOUR DOING, MIM?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Angered more by his usual lack of response and even more so by his lack of presence, I yell once again at the pure white sky. “ANSWER ME!”

No answer.

I kick the snow in anger and fall to the ground, staring up at the sky... MiM can’t answer… even if he wanted too. I knew this. MiM can only speak when his moonbeams reach the earth. If covered by clouds or not visible to the earth, he cannot communicate with the earth… Well, he can… but it’s very tricky to do. I’d have to wait until night to talk to him, for it was still midday. I sigh, calming myself. “I hate you, Mim.”*

I lay there, staring up at the white-covered sky. Why are you doing this to me? Haven't I suffered enough in this life time?! And you try to rob me of the one thing I need once per year! The one day that is up to me to decide how to spend it! I don't kill people in this town! I just stir them up! Warn them not to come out now, so why are you taking this from me?!

Just what would MiM achieve by stopping my storm here. He hasn't stopped any of my other storms. Just this one. MiM doesn't have the power to do this from his location, either he's used the porter or he's found a new spirit to change my weather. The most likely idea is the used of a new spirit. A replacement for Jack Frost. I suppose it makes sense, you've finally given up on me, haven't you? So, who's the unlucky canidate... to become the new me. I wonder, will you make him stumble his way through another 300 years before you give him clarity? Or, will you try to fix the mistakes you made with me in the past.

In truth, if you just explained more to me upon my birth, I would have turned out so differently. I would probably work with the guardians from the very start, I might've even had believers, seen my sister grow up. You took my memories to make me feel alone. It was all some big plan to make me find myself, but it failed. It only caused me heart-wrenching pain after finding out my sister and mother had passed on without me even realizing who they were.

Do you know that my sister died of pneumonia after searching the lake for my body?! She only wanted to give me a proper burial once she was old enough to fish me out without too much of a struggle. But did she find a body? No, she didn't. She died from the cold. The winter that YOU made me spread! She was 22 and just barely married. Her first born was sick, and she went out to fish MY body up. Or at least find my frozen cloth. She had searched for it each summer, and finally, she thought she had spotted it in the dead of winter. She brought out the fishing rod, and crept onto the ice, reaching the hole some of the local boys made by tossing heavy rocks at the pond. She cast her line, and tried to reach the brown cloth she thought she saw. Reiling it in, it slipped from her line. Without thought, she thrusted her hand into the cold water to pull it out. The force at which her arm came caused the cracking of the ice. Her husband came out at that moment, I remember... I didn't know who she was at the time... but she was in trouble... her face was terrified... but she clung to the brown scrap of cloth. She turned her body slowly, and crawled away from the crack. With each movement, she shook, each push forward caused another breaking point. She crawled and crawled. I was relieved to see she had made it to the edge when the ice beneeth her collasped. Her husband reached out for her and grabbed her arm. I wanted to help her, but I knew I could do nothing. He pulled her to safety. She was dripping from head to toe with liquid ice. Frost had already began to form in her hair upon her return to solid ground. Her husband rushed her inside and to the fire. He covered her in his own clothes and whatever cloth he could find, trying to warm her; however, his attempts were futial... She became sick and passed on... Because of you MiM, I caused the very thing I sacrificed my life to protect her from. And still, you rob me of the one thing I need most to survive.

I let out a huff, "Why MiM..." Closing my eyes, I let myself drift into darkness. Calming my breath once more, cold... dark.. I feel nothing... I am death... I am-

"Jack?!" I jump to my feet at the familar voice, spinning around to meet the wide eyes of a young woman with golden blonde hair carefully bundled in her beanie...

"Sophie........" She's seen me... she... still believes in me...

Her eyes look upon me with both horror and worry. She gasps upon seeing my face... my hood... it feel from my head... she's seen me! She's seen the monster I am! I turn and dash to take off. Just as I lift my feet off the ground, I feel a tug on my sleeve, I turn to meet her fearful eyes watching me. She had thrown her bag and leaped with all her strength to pull me down.

"Don't go! Jack!" I jump back, shocked at her reaction. The fear in her eyes wasn't of me, it was for me.. She didn't want me to leave... Her gentle eyes hold only hope, hope to aid me in my suffering. I yank myself away, floating backward.

"Stay away from me!" I yell at her, she surprised but quickly ludges herself at me, clinging to my waist. I try to force her off but her grip is strong, she struggles to stay on as I lift off the group, hovering in place, and attempting to shake her off.

"No! I'm not letting you go! I already let one person go, I'm not letting you go, too!" Other... person...

"Jamie..." She looks up at me, and nods...

"Yes, I let Jamie go instead of me... I should've been the one to die that day... but he took my place. I let him go... I'm not letting you go, too!"

"Arrrrgh!!!" I rip myself away from her, breathing heavily. My feet scraping the snow as I push her off. "You don't get it do you?! I killed Jamie!"